


little by little

by LoveKhaleesi



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec is bad at advice, M/M, Parabatai Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 20:50:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9676046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveKhaleesi/pseuds/LoveKhaleesi
Summary: It's not that Alec is a bad brother, per se. In fact, the number of times he's risked his life to protect one of his (hopelessly annoying, annoying hopeless) siblings is evidence enough of that. So Alec is definitely a good brother. That's not the problem. The problem is that Alec would like to try being a good boyfriend as well, and it's hard to do much boyfriending when Jace is sulking and stomping all over the very nice, very comfortable pieces of furniture that Alec would very much like to sink into with Magnus.Set immediately post 2x06.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This started off as something completely different, but Parabatai feels got the best of me. First Shadowhunters fic, so please be gentle. 
> 
> Betaed by Ani and Anthony <3

It's not that Alec is a bad brother, per se. In fact, the number of times he's risked his life to protect one of his (hopelessly annoying, annoying hopeless) siblings is evidence enough of that. So Alec is definitely a good brother. That's not the problem. The problem is that Alec would like to try being a good boyfriend as well, and it's hard to do much boyfriending when Jace is sulking and stomping all over the very nice, very comfortable pieces of furniture that Alec would very much like to sink into with Magnus.

To make things worse, it's not even like Magnus is willing to help. You _would_ think Magnus would be willing to help, because he is Older and hopefully Wiser. Not that Alec actually has much hope of that. He's seen how much glitter the man owns, and there is no wisdom in glitter. But it's nice to lie to himself from time to time. Still, Magnus had taken one (very annoyed) look at Jace the time first he'd shown up at his loft asking for a place to stay, interrupting an extremely nice kiss in the process--which was only Alec's second kiss, _ever_ , and as much as he does love Jace, sometimes he very much wants to throttle him too--and immediately decided that it was Not His Problem.

"You know, Magnus--" Alec had said, just to make sure, because Magnus is good and kind and soft, even when he likes to pretend he's not, and this is the exact sort of situation where all of his experience with relationships and sex might come in handy, "this is exactly the sort of situation –"

"No," Magnus had said. "I have this thing that stops me from dealing with other people's relationship drama. I like to call it common sense. Also, I left the oven on."

"Have you ever done any cooking?" Alec had asked, eyebrows shooting up. "Cocktails don't count. Also, we're already in the kitchen."

And then Magnus had kissed him for the first time--well, not the first time per se, as he'd very much kissed back the two times Alec initiated it, but this was definitely the first time he initiated it himself and _oh_ , Alec could definitely get used to this--and then everything had stopped really mattering, apart from Magnus’ lips pressed to his, and Alec’s brain had gone completely quiet, which was really quite nice. Magnus had just snuck his hands onto Alec's hair, and it's possible Jace had heard something that sounded suspiciously like a purr falling from Alec's lips when he'd come in to ask where Magnus kept his towels.

(Throttling. So much throttling. Alec wonders if he could get away with it if he could convince people Jace had really deserved it. It doesn’t seem too hard, considering almost everyone in their world has spent at least some time with Jace.)

After that, the whole night had gone from being really quite nice to being Alec’s problem to deal with, and he's usually all for helping Jace with his problems but he gets the feeling Clary Fairchild is at the root of this particular one--because, honestly, when is she not?--and things are awkward enough between them now that her mother's blood is on his hands that Alec trying to interfere in her relationship and/or family drama can only make things worse than they already are.

And yet, he's clearly going to have to, because it's not as if there's anyone else willing to do it.

Where's Izzy when you need her?

Taking a deep, fortifying breath, he knocks on the door to Jace's new room, waiting for an answer before sliding inside. Jace has throw himself dejectedly onto the mattress, not even bothering to take any of his clothes off, apart from his boots, and thank the Angel for small mercies. Alec doesn't want Magnus to have a heart attack just because his brother has no manners and tracks mud all over his very nice, very red, very comfortable-looking sheets. Not that Alec is thinking of how comfortable Magnus' bed would be. Or how he’d looked against these red sheets. Preferably with Alec on top of him.

"Are you done sulking?" he asks, because no one's ever accused him of being kind. "Because I'm pretty sure you're not five anymore, so you might be a little past--"

"Shut up, Alec."

Well, at least Jace’s talking. Of course, he's not saying anything useful, but Alec’s used to that by now. "--the age where sulking is an acceptable form of dealing with your problems," he continues, ignoring the interruption completely. Either it'll work directly or it’ll get Jace riled up, which will work indirectly anyway. "So Aldertree doesn't like you. Lots of people don't like you."

"It wasn't just that," Jace says, and at least he sits up as he speaks, probably to better glare at Alec. "I told you what happened. It was--"

"I know." He does. Alec doesn't like Aldertree and he's all too aware Aldertree doesn't like any of them. That doesn't mean Jace gets to give up and storm out of the Institute the moment things get tough. "So he had you clean weapons. You've cleaned weapons before. You’ve survived. I daresay you’ll survive again. What's this really about?"

"It's about Aldertree."

The way he can't quite meet Alec's eyes at that tells him all he needs to know. Then, with all the subtlety of a vampire at a blood drive, Alec asks, "Is this about Clary?"

“I don’t want to talk about Clary,” Jace snaps, and it’s not so much that there’s a Jace-shaped headache hammering away at Alec’s temples. It’s that he can’t think of a time there _wasn’t_ a Jace-shaped headache hammering away at his temples.

“Well, that makes sense,” Alec says, sarcasm practically dripping off every word, and if Magnus leaves him because he ended up bald before turning thirty, he’s only got Jace to blame for it. “After all, why would you want to talk about having inappropriate feelings for your sister with someone who’s had inappropriate feelings for his brother? It makes all the sense in the world.”

To his credit, Jace looks somewhat ashamed at Alec’s words.

“That’s not–I don’t–I mean–” he starts to say, words stumbling over one another. “I didn’t mean–Alec, it’s not the same thing–”

“Why?” Alec asks, arms crossing over his chest. Are they really going to get into this _now_? “Because I’m a guy?”

“No.” Jace pauses, glancing down at his knees as if unsure of what else to say, as if unsure he should say anything else at all, and this is how Alec knows that whatever comes after is going to be Bad, because Jace never struggles like this. “Because you got over me–”

“Should I apologize for that?” Alec asks incredulously. “Is your ego really so–”

“–and I’m not sure I want to get over her.”

Oh.

Well.

That’s definitely Bad.

Alec exhales very slowly, before sitting down on the mattress beside him. Just minutes ago, Magnus had him pressed against a kitchen cabinet. That had been a simpler time. Much nicer, too. Now, he’s expected to give Jace relationship advice–if you can call it that, and Alec is pretty sure you _can’t_ , because Jace and Clary are not in a relationship, and Alec is about the last person anyone should come to for relationship advice. Or advice of any kind. Alec is pretty well aware of his limitations.

"Okay," he says, first, because acknowledging something is the first step to dealing with it. "Okay, that's--okay." It's hard to be sure where he's supposed to stand on this--on the one hand, at least him and Jace were never biologically related. On the other, they were sort of raised together. Alec's not really sure which one is worse. Isn’t sure it really matters, in the large scheme of things. "Okay, so--"

"Do you think you can throw in a few more okays?" Jace asks sarcastically. "Because I really don't--"

"Oh, shut up," Alec snaps half-heartedly, and at least it has the desired effect. "Have you, I don't know, tried to talk to her about it?"

"I can just see how well that's going to go over. Hello, sister, would you like me to stick my tongue down your throat?"

"She seemed to like it well enough in the past." It's not an easy conversation to have, and Alec isn't particularly nice, not even to the people he loves, but he doesn't see the point in mollycoddling anyone, especially not Jace. "I mean, I know that was before, but--"

"What would we even do?" Jace asks, and there's an edge of desperation in his voice that makes something twist uncomfortably in Alec's stomach, reminding him that just because he's over the asshole romantically, it doesn't mean he loves him any less, just differently, and as much as he thinks Jace is acting like a child--which makes sense, because Jace _is_ acting like a child--it doesn't make him worry any less. "Are we supposed to sneak around for the rest of our lives? Because I really don't think the Institute would be okay with me shacking up with my sister, especially with us being Valentine's children, and it's hardly as if there's any privacy there. So, what? Should we run away? We wouldn't make it a week before Valentine caught up with us."

Alec rubs the back of his neck, suddenly reminded of how terrible he is at this. Demons, he can handle. Relationship advice, not so much. Alec almost wishes Valentine would make an appearance. That’d be a welcome change right now. What he wants to say--what he really wants to say--is _get over her_. It's smart, it's clean, it takes care of the problem. But years of pining after Jace, and this whole thing with Magnus--and the disaster that his wedding turned into because of this thing with Magnus--remind him that it's not as easy as ripping off a band-aid. "Jocelyn lived among the mundanes for years," he says quietly, instead. "No one had any idea who she was. So, I mean--"

“So I should leave my entire family behind? My life? What would we even _do_? Do you think _she’d_ want to?”

Alec snorts at that. “This might come at a surprise to you, but I have never given much thought to what Clary might or might not do, regardless of the circumstances.”

“Well, you’re almost completely useless,” Jace grumbles.

“Almost?”

“Well, you do have some experience with the whole unrequited love thing,” Jace concedes. “Which, incidentally, was really not one of the most self-preserving things you’ve ever done. You and me, I mean. When you were, you know..." His voice trails off and he waves his hand vaguely, clearly uncomfortable at the topic of conversation he brought up, though when Alec chances a look at his face there's no judgement there. Mostly confusion, and something at the corner of his eyes that reminds him of how he had felt himself, standing at the altar with Lydia, lost and alone and terrified of the future.

There is a long, awkward pause, as Jace clearly waits for him to speak. “I think that was sort of the point,” Alec admits. “You are--who you are, and you're someone who--well, you're not someone who--"

"Likes guys?" Jace offers.

"Yes." Alec nods. "So I knew that, but--"

"But then why--"

"Because there were a lot of things about myself that I tried very hard not to think about," Alec says, answering the question before Jace can finish asking it. "And you were--and you liked girls, and I knew that, and I knew _us_ was never going to happen, and liking you like that was... safe. Because it was there, but it was easy to pass off as something else to everyone else--and to myself--and while it was there nothing was going to happen with anyone else either, so there was no need for me to think about anything I didn't want to think about. I was just... going to go on with my life. That was always the plan. Until Magnus came along."

"That's a shit way to live, Alec," Jace says quietly, and there's something on his tone, something that sounds remarkably like pity, that sets Alec on edge.

"What, because being in love with your sister is working out so well for you?" he snaps.

Over a decade spent with Jace warns him that there's about to be a pillow smacking onto the side of his face seconds before it hits, though for once he makes no move to defend himself. He's probably deserved that anyway. "Ouch," he deadpans.

"Shut up," Jace grumbles, though there's fondness in his voice. "So, liking me was safe. And me here thinking it was just my disarming good looks and scintillating personality and--"

"--the fact that you'll never be as in love with someone else as you are with yourself?" Alec supplies helpfully, though despite the snarking and the snapping he’s grateful they’ve talked about it, that it’s something they’re both moving forward from.

"That, too," Jace agrees with a smirk, though he grows somewhat serious in just a few moments. "Liking Magnus Bane isn't safe."

Alec chuckles helplessly at that. "I don't think _anything_ about Magnus Bane is safe, Jace."

“Right, about that.” He turns, looking directly at Alec for the first time since this conversation started. Alec is sure it doesn’t bode well. “Are you sure this is what you want? Magnus, I mean? He’s very--I mean, even leaving aside that he’s a Downworlder and you’re a Shadowhunter, he’s very… well, in-your-face and--”

“So now you have a problem with Magnus being in my face?” Alec asks, though it’s possible he’s well aware of what Jace is trying to say and is just fucking with him. Maybe. Consider it payback for what a pain in the ass Jace is.

“In your face? No,” Jace replies, not missing a beat. “But if he’s going to be _on_ your face, I would appreciate some warning so I could avoid having to witness any part of that.”

Alec’s cheeks go bright red halfway through Jace’s comment. “I know this is asking more of you than anyone has ever asked before, but please don’t say words anymore,” Alec practically begs, cheeks flaming, and if that pillow was anywhere within arm’s reach, he’d be hitting Jace’s stupid face with it right about now. Which Jace probably knows, and which is probably also the reason the damned pillow is nowhere to be seen. Sneaky asshole.

“You just came in whining about how I was sulking,” Jace points out. “So I’m fairly sure me not saying words was the problem all along.”

“I really don’t like you sometimes.”

“So, Magnus,” Jace says, ignoring that, and it’s just Alec’s luck that it looks like he’s not going to be dropping that topic anytime soon. “What I meant was he’s… exuberant. And you’re kind of--well, I mean, you know I love you, but you’re really sort of very _prickly_.”

“I’m not prickly!” Alec rushes to say, even though it’s possibly not as inaccurate as he’d like to pretend it is.

“And just how long did it take you to stop referring to Clary as _little girl_ , exactly?”

“That’s different. You were in love with her.”

“I was never in love with--”

Alec stares at him. Just stares.

“Alright, fine,” Jace concedes. “But you’re thinking about strangling Simon every time you’re in a room with him and if you try to say it’s because I’m in love with him I may actually throw you out of the room. Even if I liked guys, I’d have better taste than that. _You_ like guys and you have better taste than that. _Everyone_ has better taste than that.”

“Jace, you’re thinking about strangling him just as much as I am every time you’re in a room with him.”

“Yes, but I never said _I_ wasn’t prickly,” Jace says nonsensically. “Just that _you_ were. Besides, he’s annoying. It’s not my fault.”

“Yes, exactly,” Alec says defensively, and how this conversation ended up here, of all places, is completely beyond Alec. Especially because apparently Jace isn’t done talking yet.

“Not that I don’t approve of Magnus--” he’s saying.

“It’d be kind of awkward if you didn’t, since this is his room,” Alec points out. “Which you just threatened to kick me out of. I don’t think that’d work, by the way, I’m pretty sure I’m his favorite.”

Jace, as usual, ignores him. “--I’m just saying you’re different people. Which might be a good thing, to be honest. Or a bad one. I don’t know. But I think he’s good for you so far. You’re happy when you’re around him. Softer.  I mean, I’m still offended he thinks you’re prettier than me--”

“You would be,” Alec mutters under his breath.

“--but I do like him. You deserve to be happy, Alec.”

The flush to Alec’s cheeks has nothing to do with innuendo this time. “Lydia said the same thing.”

“I know. She deserves to be happy, too. Hey, maybe if we introduced her to--”

“Don’t you think we should figure out both our romantic lives before we start interfering with someone else’s?” Alec points out, rather wisely in his opinion.

“Well, it’s not my fault my love life ended up this messed up,” Jace says, tucking one leg underneath him. “Can’t really expect me to know a girl is my sister if I don’t think I have any sisters besides Izzy, can you? I was doing pretty well before that, though, if I do say so myself. And you’re definitely doing pretty well, so--”

That’s only sort of true. It could be completely true, but as Jace keeps interrupting them, it’s hard to be sure one way or another. “Jace, I’ve kissed him a total of three times so far, and you managed to be there for all three of those, so--”

Jace looks at him like he’s grown a second head. “What were you even _doing_ while I was with Valentine?”

“I don’t know, you idiot, looking for you?” Alec asks.

“Do you want, like, tips?” Jace asks, barrelling on. “Because I don’t know exactly what that would entail, but the theoretics are probably the same even if the mechanics aren’t. Just keep your teeth away from his--”

Alec closes his eyes, and thinks fondly of throttling him. “Remember that thing I just said about you and words, Jace?”

“That I shouldn’t say them?”

“ _Exactly_.”

“This is exactly what I meant about you being prickly,” Jace says cheerfully, before patting Alec’s shoulder. “But thanks for the pep talk. I mean, it was completely useless, but thanks anyway.”

“Any idea what you’re going to do?”

“Not a single one,” Jace admits. “Hey, so, if I ever need to talk about this--”

“--you know where I am,” Alec finishes for him. “Though if you could manage to stop interrupting me and Magnus, that would be extremely appreciated. Otherwise, he might actually lock you in this room.”

“I’m pretty sure I know how to break out of a room, Alec.”

“Not if he takes away the door. And the window.”

Jace considers this. “You wouldn’t even try to stop him?”

“You’re assuming I wouldn’t be the one suggesting it.”

Jace considers this as well. “I’ll stop interrupting.”

“Your sacrifice has been noted,” Alec says dryly.

“Shut up and go make out with your warlock,” Jace says, retrieving the pillow from underneath the bed and smacking Alec’s side with it.

For a moment, Alec ponders the merits of not retaliating, before snatching the pillow out of Jace’s hands and swatting him in the face. He deserves it, anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say [hi](http://arcoiriseglitter.tumblr.com) !


End file.
